P302Rivals Football - Liverpool FC
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by shed69, 12/10, 15:47

The Fiver's always prided itself on displaying knowledge of its subject deeper than a philosophy lecture at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, so it's with some distress that it learns Liverpool's Hungarian chairman John B Henry knows almost nothing about the Goodison Park club he bought three years ago from a dragon round the back of Sainsbury's.

In an interview with Big Paper's David Conn, Henry admits he knew "virtually nothing about Liverpool Football Club nor EPL" when he invested in the club, while chairman Tom Werner said at the time he "certainly knew about Manchester United", something which will endear him to Liverpool fans around the world. So, if Henry's Fenway Sports Group didn't know that much about Liverpool, what was the impetus behind the purchase of the club?

Well it turns out it was that most American of things: the dreaded spectre of socialism.

In the US, where Fenway own the Boston Red Sox, profits are shared more equally among sports teams, something that Werner isn't too keen on. "We realise [the Red Sox] are part of a league, but we feel the burden on the top is higher than appropriate," said Werner, checking for communists under the bed. "We feel we deserve the fruits of our labour," he added, checking for trade unionists and anarchists while he was at it.

So where better to head to than the Premier League, a place where a money-grabbing, eff-you mentality may as well be part of the fit and proper persons test. In fact, Liverpool are getting into the Premier League way of doing things to such an extent that they now want to sell their foreign TV rights on a club-by-club basis rather than share them with - shudder - poorer clubs. "What we are actually doing [at the moment with TV rights] is disadvantaging ourselves against other big European clubs," said Liverpool MD Ian Ayre, failing to mention that Liverpool have actually been disadvantaging themselves against other big European clubs by not being very good at football.

Ayre's charge for TV rights was undermined this afternoon when Manchester United and Chelsea distanced themselves from his ideas. Well done, Ian, you just made Chelsea look like a model of charity and love.

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by Sharpest Tool In The Shed, 12/10, 15:53 @ shed69

INRAT

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by shed69, 12/10, 15:55 @ Sharpest Tool In The Shed

Exactly

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by darmonds-green @, 13/10, 12:59 @ shed69

INFRAT