It was a cold, dank, dark evening in the suburbs of Milton Keynes. Syzlack's wife was home late from work again, it'd been weeks since they made love and he was getting the animal urges that men get when they haven't shot their gentleman's relish for a while.
Syzlack knew where he had to head to get a slice of the action. The car park off the A421 was his regular cottaging spot. He'd met men of all shapes, sizes and nationalities there in the past. When he pulled into the car park today however, it was quiet and empty. He sat in his seat contemplating life when suddenly there was a knock on the window.
Stood before him was a tall, muscular man. "wind it doine", he exclaimed in a broad Northern Irish accent. Syzlack complied and before he could get his words out he had Big Perm's Arrid sized uncle reamus plunged into his willing cake hole. Big Perm looked down at this Ian Beale stunt double choking on his lap rocket and it wasn't long before he was roaring with laughter as he unleashed a string of erectoplasm all over Syzlack's face and Fruit of the Loom coat.
Big Perm opened the door of the Seat Ibiza and told Syzlack that he was willing to repay the favour. Aggressively pulling Syzlack's pathetic physique from the car, he tugged roughly on his Lee Cooper denim jeans. Syzlack proudly revealed his half an inch micropenis. His pathetic baby carrot was primed for action, but Big Perm just pointed and laughed. Perm was an experienced womb broom handler and he was not wasting his time on this belly button sized prick. Perm just spat in Syzlack's face and told him to fuck off.
It was thirty minutes before Syzlack returned to his humble abode. His wife still hadn't returned and he felt utterly humiliated. He had no option but to reach in his bedroom drawer for his trusty tub of Poundland vaseline and Johnson's Baby Wipes. He logged on to Boardhost and tugged himself silly over a Madjens post. It made him feel less stupid. He soaked his beer belly with an enormous amount of cuckoo spit before falling asleep cock in hand. He lived happily ever after. The end.
YOU'VE ALL JUST MET - THE SHITHOUSE